A Blessing in Disguise

(My first ever blog post!)

I'd like to say my first thought was, YES! I'M PREGNANT! I'M SO EXCITED! when I saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test. Truthfully, it was more like, Oh, fuck...this wasn't supposed to happen for at least another two years...

This would probably be a good time for some background info.

I just turned 20 in January, I'm happily married to a guy who is literally perfect for me (*kid voice* ewww, love!), and I'm waiting to see if I got into dental hygiene school at my local community college. Oh, and I'm 6 months pregnant, give or take a couple weeks.

We had a plan. I was going to get through school and my husband was going to land a job at his final career before we started trying for a kid. Getting pregnant before I'm even allowed to legally drink in the United States was NOT part of the plan.

It was October 2016. We'd just gotten married two months ago. I'd already submitted my application for dental hygiene school and was finishing up the last of my required science courses while I waited for news of acceptance (or denial). He was looking into possibly trying to get into BLET (Basic Law Enforcement Training) for January. I was enjoying my last months as a "teenager." We'd just made an impulse decision to adopt a 4th cat.

Alright, time for the TMI portion. I'd been on the pill since we started dating at the beginning of 2015. Everything was fine and dandy until we got back from our honeymoon. I started having breakthrough bleeding in the middle of my cycle, and not getting a period on the sugar pills like I was supposed to. This went on for a couple of months. We both assumed it was normal, so we continued our...ahem...lives. In October, the time for breakthrough bleeding came and went. I was pretty happy because I figured my body finally figured things out and that I was going to start getting my period on placebo days again like normal. We went out to get fast food, and on the way home, I jokingly said to my husband, "What if I'm actually pregnant and that's why I'm not bleeding in the middle of my cycle like I have been?" He laughed and said we could go get a pregnancy test just to be sure. We stopped by CVS on the way home and did just that. We went home, ate our food, and I went to go pee on the stick.

We waited the standard amount of time for the test to process, and I glanced at it, expecting nothing. Then I frowned. Is that...? 

I handed the test to my husband and he looked at it. A few seconds passed. "Is it just me, or do you see two lines?" he asked and handed the test back to me, disbelieving.

"Nope...that's definitely two lines."

"Oh, fuck...that can't be right...maybe the test was wrong..."

Cue the panic.

We went to Harris Teeter (it was late, everything else was closed by then) and got some First Response and Clearblue Digital tests. I peed on them all. They all came back positive.

The rest was a bit of a panic-blur. We were both freaking out. This had come at what we thought was the most inopportune moment in our lives. We panic-talked about our options, he called his dad in a panic, his dad didn't pick up so he called his best friend in a panic (she didn't pick up, either), his dad called back later...it was about 2am when we finally settled down enough to have a real conversation about it. We debated for days, going back and forth between different what-ifs and different views of morality. Would we be able to provide for a child on one income while I went through school? Would aborting and waiting until we were 100% ready mean a better life for our future child when we decide to get pregnant again? What's worse, giving this baby a chance and potentially royally screwing up all of our lives in the process, or not giving it a chance at all? In the end, after some hypothetical shuffling of finances, we decided that we had to keep the baby. Nobody would starve if we kept it. It would be a lot more difficult financially and mentally to get through school with a newborn, but that seemed like a fair trade for having a tiny human to love and nurture. Though we weren't in an ideal situation, we knew we were stable enough to provide for a child and therefore couldn't justify an abortion. I mean, when is anyone ever 100% ready for a baby, anyway?

We got our health insurance situation sorted out and after the first ultrasound, there was no longer any doubt that we were making the right decision. My husband kicked his butt into gear and applied for BLET. He's currently in his third month of training. If I get into dental hygiene school (still waiting on that darn letter), I'll start this August. Our little girl is due June 16th, right after his graduation and two months before I start school. The timing actually worked out pretty well in the end. I'm so glad we didn't let panic dictate our actions because this pregnancy ended up being a blessing in disguise. Neither of us can imagine what it would be like if we'd chosen not to keep our baby. Just by taking up temporary residence in my uterus, she's proved her worth and place in our hearts twice over by motivating both of us to pursue our dreams and careers. Though it took us a little while to realize it, an unplanned pregnancy was a blessing in disguise.

15 weeks left to go! We can't wait to meet you, baby girl.