Update from the Trenches

It's been a while since I've blogged. Why?

Because juggling dental hygiene school and a baby is fucking brutal. That's why. Yeah. Remember that blog post I wrote at the beginning of September about how school was way easier than I expected? I was wrong. It sucks. It may have started out easy, but it sure didn't stay easy.

Now, I wouldn't say that it's single handedly the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Nor would I say becoming a mother was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's the two of them combined that makes life incredibly difficult. Learning completely new fine motor skills is a bitch. On top of trying to study for didactic classes. While simultaneously feeling guilty for leaving my sweet baby at daycare all the time. And finally getting to spend what feels like the shortest weekend ever with her, only to have to send her to daycare again on Monday and start the next week. I almost dropped out at the halfway point in the semester. I was ready to quit and go back to working in childcare because I missed Kari so much, and I was failing tests left and right. I had to keep reminding myself that I'm spending less time with her now so I can spend more time with her later. All of this is so she can have a better life, and I can't let myself lose sight of that. I'm so ready for winter break. 11 more days of exams, and then I can spend a blissful 16 days with Kari before it's back to the grinder again. The end (of the semester) is in sight. I can do this.

On another, happier note, Kari is turning 6 months next week...and we're still breastfeeding!!! my 4 month goal came and went. It was still painful at that point, but I still couldn't bring myself to quit and exclusively pump. Another month passed, and I slowly started to notice it didn't hurt so much anymore. Now as we approach the 6 month mark, it's not 100% comfortable but I'm pretty much pain free unless she bites down with her little gums. She still has trouble handling my letdown sometimes and she can't do sippy cups yet, but I'm honestly just thankful that we were able to make it this far and that she's happy and fed. Next goal: make it to 1 year! I'm confident now that we'll be able to reach that goal. She just started solids but continues to drink as much milk as she did before she started solids. So, we'll see where all this takes us.

I may or may not get a chance to really blog over the holidays, but I'll definitely try for at least a short post. With my newly minted mom brain, I can't guarantee I'll remember all the important details about our first Christmas as a family of 3 if I don't write them down. (2/26/18 update: I forgot to write...basically we spent Christmas Eve with Keenan's mom/grandparents and Christmas Day with my mom and nephews) Also, my 21st birthday is coming up in less than a month. Any ideas for a kid-friendly 21st birthday party because I don't want to leave my baby? Ha.